Sunday, September 09, 2012

Heard Around The Hospital

This is part of a series of posts on funny things I hear around the hospital. For previous posts, click here.

Medical student quote of the day:

"So, what did you learn today?"

"I never knew that so much blood could come out of one patient's arm."

"Oh? What were you doing to the patient?"

"Taking blood."


In clinic, from one of my fellow doctors:

"Hey Angry. You think if I put up a sign outside my door saying 'CRAP YOU GIVE ME WILL END UP ON MY BLOG' patients would give me less crap?"*


"Mrs Smith, I'm here to give you your injection."

"What was that?"

"Mrs Smith, I'm HERE to give you YOUR INJECTION".

"I can't hear you boy, speak up."


"Quiet boy! What do you think I am, deaf?"


Sorry for the long absence, folks. I've had multiple family illnesses, a major move, and a runaway cousin to contend with. I know my readers have desperately missed me (all three of you) so I'll try to be less naughty and post more (as if the Internet needed any more bad humour).

*If you recognised that joke from my Facebook and Twitter accounts, then 1. OMG you actually pay attention to my crap? and 2. Correct. It was a colleague who also reads my Facebook quoting me to, well, me. Cheeky bugger.


drerhumu said...

Ah! I see why you've been gone so long, it's good to have you back!

drerhumu said...

By the way, I nominated you for versatile blogger award here:

Anonymous said...

Aaah, I wanna be a doc too :( ( btw u ve good humor, keep it up doc ;) )

Anonymous said...

Where did the cousin run away to? You are very...manic.

I'm a dreadful patient, my doctor hates me :)

(See, you can't even escape here)

OmgItsTania said...

angry medic, where are you? D:

Anonymous said...

Lol you are funny indeed. ( in a good way). Goodluck with yoyr career :)

Anonymous said...

Did you die? Happy new year AM

Anonymous said...

Did you die again?

peace said...

Went to the doctor for the stupidest thing in my first year of college. I guess I have no right to complain about my patients now.

peace said...

Hey, hope things are getting better. Please up date us. Praying for you & your family. All love.

In Rude Health said...

Dear Angry Medic,

My name is Robbie, and I'm editing In Rude Health, a book of humorous medical anecdotes that will be illustrated and published at Christmas-time by Freight Books, a small Scottish publisher ( In my research for this book I've been reading through blogs such as yours, and I was wondering if you would have any you'd like to contribute. Naturally, the more risqué the might be the better, but what I'm aiming to do is make something funny and enjoyable, but which also shows Joe public just what sort of things you folk in the NHS have to deal with.

Naturally all stories submitted will be treated as completely anonymous. I do hope you will consider submitting a story or two. Please email them to:

Best wishes,


tracy said...

Miss you Angry :(

Love, "Momma" tracy

Come back soon!

peace said...

Would you write about your cousin story. Sounds like fun. ( I hope it is nothing serious)
C'mon we are missing you doctor.