Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Trials and Tribulations of General Practice

What's a GP? That much-loved, much-maligned creature that nobody ever knows quite how to classify, that first-line defence against common illnesses, that gatekeeper to the entire healthcare system - everybody has a different opinion of GPs.

So what's a GP?

I don't know, and I don't give a rat's arse either.

All I do know is that for the next 3 weeks, I am medical student (read: unpaid secretary, general dogsbody and coffee bitch --Ed.) to five of 'em. And I'm already finding out that contrary to all the tales of cushy, boring, golf-afternoon-filled lives we've all heard about GPs, their lives are anything but boring.

But because I'm far too generous and giving (snigger --Ed.) to keep all my misery to myself, I'll be sharing choice morsels of my adventures in GP-land with all my glorious fans (yes, all two of you! I lost one reader last month. --Ed.) in an attempt to 1. stave off all the hate mail I've been getting since stopping blogging, and 2. stop my brain from leaking out of my ears in boredom whilst I wait for this damn tea kettle to start working for the 36th time today. God, you'd think with all this money they'd at least get a working kettle.

*****
These are actual anecdotes heard in clinic. You can't make this shit up, folks.

To an 87-year-old woman today: "Hello ma'am, I'm going to give you your injection."

"What?"

"Hello ma'am, I'm going to GIVE you your INJECTION."


"Eh? What?"


"HELLO MA'AM I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU YOUR INJECTION!"


"Quiet, boy. What d'you think I am, deaf?"

*****
Wait, what? You're still awake? Uhm, wow. Wasn't expecting that. Bonus anecdote for not falling asleep/throwing rotten vegetables at your screen!

"Hello sir, how can I help you today?"

"Promise me you won't judge me, doctor."


"Um, okay. What seems to be the problem?"


"I can't stop eating those Big Daddy boxes from KFC, doctor."


"Sigh...I know the feeling."

8 comments:

Shrinked Immaculate said...

welcome to the real world

medworld said...

hi angry medic!!
u have a interesting blog:D i like it..:)
if u like it ،link me as medworld.blogfa.com!
good luck*)

Anonymous said...

yay a post...

zewt said...

welcome back!

The Amused Medic said...

Finally the wait for a new post is over!
Been following this blog for a while, it's great. Effortlessly funny. You have real writing skills. Could.. no actually should go professional with em.
Peace.

The Amused Medic said...

Finally the wait for a new post is over!
Been following this blog for a while, it's great. Effortlessly funny. You have real writing skills. Could.. no actually should go professional with em.
Peace.

Genevieve said...

Yeah, I know the GP's, they perfect their golf swing on a Saturday afternoon while they let you lay in the ER for 7 hours not responding to the Attending ER Docs pages.

Total asses.

Anonymous said...

hii