Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Censored


Recently my blog was discovered.

I've spoken many times about freedom of speech on the Internet, especially for medical bloggers. Protecting your identity becomes a lot more than just wondering what your boyfriend will think when he learns you've been ranting about your sex life online. When you have a real job, with real patients, and unfortunately very real whackjobs for colleagues and superiors, blogging becomes a catharsis of sorts.

But unfortunately it can also get you into very real trouble. Remember HospitalPhoenix. Remember Angry NHS Doctor. Even The Little Medic got into some trouble back in his student days. And now people are whispering that the highest of the high, the Big Daddy of Go-Ahead-Try-And-Find-My-Identity-Out, NHS Blog Doctor himself, was forced to retire because someone finally found out who he was.

It never mattered to me, because right from the start I wasn't anonymous, and my only real enemy was the University of Cambridge, whose policy on hate mail is basically "nyah nyah we're bigger than you". But it had to happen someday - and now it has.

I've been discovered.

And by people whose opinions, unfortunately, matter to me. You can only adopt a screw-you-I-don't-care-what-you-think policy for so long, because as every movie villain in history knows, there's always someone whose opinions you can't afford to ignore. So these days when I drag my sorry carcass into my room after a long hard day and just feel like jumping online and ranting about that midwife who yelled at me using the most colourful expletives possible --

I stop. And remember that somebody's watching me.

It feels horrible.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

welcome back angry
and chin up

Mayhem said...

I feel your pain Angry. Being found out really put a damper on my interest to write. I thought about creating a whole new identity and starting over again but the drive wasn't there. Maybe you can try that.

Kendra said...

I miss you! And I'm scared to bits about starting my residency soon and continuing to blog. I still have no idea how the hell I'm gonna get away with it! I understand your absence...but we miss ya's!!

Anonymous said...

You are capable of being you (or doing justice to your feelings) no matter how small the box they squeeze you in is. I am such a fan of yours; we'll love you even if your posts become carefully planned rants as opposed to full blown yeah-dat's-how-I-feel rants. Loved you then, love you now and I will always love your words as long as my eyes can see :D

Cockroach Catcher said...

From the vibes I am picking up, a lot of readers wants to see you un-censored!!!

The Cockroach Catcher

Doctor Zorro said...

I have also recently started blogging but even though I have the apparent advantage of being settled in my career am under no illusions about the inherent hostility towards this practice and the vulnerability it brings. Don't know how long I can remain anonymous but I sympathise with your predicament.

http://vulpesmax.blogspot.com/

Mike Cadogan said...

Don't look back
Non illigitamus carborundum
I recently changed from writing as sandnsurf to writing and commenting with my real name...it makes them MORE scared!

Nursing School Student said...

That sux that you have to "censor your writing". I'll still keep reading.

sloth_med said...

Welcome back... shame about the censorship

Internal Optimist said...

That must be horrible - what's the point in having the blog for you if you cannot say what you want. Still wonderful for us to read it though!

Please keep writing anyway!

Anonymous said...

All
Those
Promised
Updates...
*Sigh*
I
Knew
This
Was
Coming.
It's
The
Reason
I
Don't
Blog.
:-(
Good
Luck
Angry
xxx

Anonymous said...

Let me just get something straight. So you got kicked out of Cambridge cos you weren't good enough to get into the clinical school there. Yet, your catch line is still one angry medic's journey though CAMBRIDGE. Thats a little misleading.

tracy said...

Missed you soooo much, Angry! Keep writing, sorry you have to censor...didn't you always??? ;)

aries said...

I think blogging is a way to express what you really feels. Hidden or not, still; you must write :)
http://www.promdinurses.com

Ms-Ellisa said...

nyah nyah you'll get over it in no time

you'll be back.

They ALL COME BACK! ;-P

Victoria said...

Hi,

This is Vicky Silvers, I am an editor for Hospital.com. We are a medical publication whose focus is geared towards promoting awareness on hospitals, including information, news, and reviews on them. We would like to have our site included within your blog and offer our information to your readers, of course we would be more than happy to list your website within our directory as well.

vicky silvers
vicky silvers@gmail.com
www.Hospital.com

Jobbing Doctor said...

I have done both.

For a month I outed myself, and then (I'm not sure why) re-anonymised myself.

It is a risk.

911DOC said...

ah, but if you had the right ideas then you wouldn't have to censor yourself! here's how it's done in the modern world... find two opposing poles in an argument or situation, stake out your territory squarely in the middle, and voila! you have your opinion.

this works well until the two opposing ideas are, for instance, satanism and naziism...

interstingly, i found this post by searching google for 'censored by blogger', which i'm beginning to wonder about.

be well.

Dan said...

midwife crisis

Henry Gilbert said...

yeah and you shouldn't steal iStockPhotos - I mean you earn a lot of money; so have some decency.

tscd said...

So are you going to move to a new site?

Chrysalis Angel said...

Angry, it's been a long time. I finally see that you've come back on and now your MIA again. I've missed my old friend.

Internal Optimist said...

Could you let us know how your year went?! Insatiably curious here

Midwife with a Knife said...

I'm very sorry about the censorship situation. I know I've come along a little late, but I hope you can come back eventually and feel ok about it.

DW said...

The only person who can really "censor" you is yourself. I've enjoyed the blog, hope you keep writing.
And if you need a laugh now and then, check out "Children's Hospital" on Adult Swim, yes it's on the Cartoon Network. Google it.

Anonymous said...

Can I safely assume this blog is officially defunct then. The last actually medically relevant post was well over a year ago! Its been a fun 3 years Angry. You entertained us a lot. I'm just saying i'm not going to bother checking up on this blog anymore. All the best with the rest of your course/ career.

(ex-) follower

Ms-Ellisa said...

hello......?

Ann said...

You mean to say the blog I rely on to get me through those rough nights of cramming till 4am won't be running?!! I am truly sad. Perhaps you could have a mailing list or something?
And anyway, what's wrong with stating what has happened? Truth need not be censored.
I do hope you put in more entries!

Ms-Ellisa said...

Hey man where ARE you?!?! :-)

Hope all's well..

Angry Come Back

Anonymous said...

Hello there angry,

I thought you'll be interested in an update on how i'm doing now that i've made it to 5th week in Cambridge. Jeez hasn't time flown. Its been amazing! Cambridge is every bit as amazing as i thought it would. The college system means i get to make loads of friends from outside my course. the supervisors, lecturers and demonstrators are really enthusiastic (you remember Bridger and Whittaker right. And i was wrong about the toffs and spoilt people. All the people at tit hall are , well normal. Which college were you at? Was it John's or trinity. If you were than i could understand why you didn't have a nice time there.

I'm going to the Addies panto later next month which should be amazing. And i've already tried my hands at rowing, rugby, and been to see footlights at the ADC. All in all I'm having a great time. You should have stayed mate. It would have been nice to meet up. (or have you graduated already and practising as a real doctor?)

Gabriel Wu said...

Hey I found your physics counterpart - http://angryphysics.blogspot.com

Frustrated Fairy said...

it sucks you have quit blogging :(

The Angry Medic said...

"Haters Gonna Hate" Poster Boy Anonymous @ 10.50PM: I'm only going to say this once, so pull your head out of your anus, clear that week-old faeces out of your ears, and listen carefully.

I did not get kicked out of Cambridge. I did not apply at all to the Cambridge clinical school. My first choice was my London university; I got in, and upon getting in was told that I had pretty much aced the interview.

Maybe I'm just not a masochist like you are; maybe you LIKE the sensation that shoving your own head up your warm, moist rectum gives you, but I don't do things I don't like doing. I didn't enjoy Cambridge. I wanted out. Want proof? Go to Page 1 of the blog and start reading.

In any case, I don't need to justify myself to you. But you're right about the misleading title. That's a technical issue - I can't come up with a better banner for London, and readers have told me they prefer the banner preserved for identity purposes. I don't pretend I'm still in Cambridge by any stretch of the imagination.

Now pick up your pacifier and run along.

The Angry Medic said...

Ms-Ellisa: Aw daymn. Why did you have to go and be right?

AngryMedic Dignity -100%

Jobbing Doctor: Yeah, you understand. But...how did you re-anonymise yourself? Started a new blog, removed identifying information from the existing one, or borrowed a Neuralyser(TM) from the Men In Black and went crazy? Either way, sounds like I could use a lesson from you :P

911DOC: Aww thanks. You do know, I hope, that Im a big fan of your blog?

Also, censored by BLOGGER? Shivers.

Dan: Oho! Is funny! I like very much!

Except midwives. Them I not like so much.

Henry Gilbert: EGAD! It's the Moral Police! Sorry officer, I didn't realise I was speeding!

You're funny. Me, earning lots of money? A medical student, living in London, with Lord Browne crapping his Browne stuffall over me? And "stealing" iStockPhotos, when the watermark is clearly visible and unaltered? Ho ho. You make me laugh. You should start a blog! Then I can come and make unhelpful comments on YOUR posts.

Anonymous said...

Great...I just found this blog today. :P

Anonymous said...

Whoa, these really were the glory days huh? The comment counts are easily in the double digits starting from this to older posts... Man, what did you do to loose all those people?

The Angry Medic said...

Prickly Anonymous: Yep, it sucks. I went away and stopped blogging for a good year and a half. I still can't believe I used to have all these folks commenting, but then again there was a bigass blog called NHS Blog Doctor back in the day where everyone used to go, and he picked me up and publicised me. I miss him.

Lesson learnt: It's hard as hell to get stalke-- uh, regular commenters, but so easy to lose em! (Unless they're me. Or my friend Dan. We don't give up easy. Damn restraining orders.)