Sunday, May 20, 2012

Heard Around The Hospital

This is a weekly series of funny stuff I overhear in medicine. For the previous post, click here.

I'm still busy with stuff I discussed in A Death In The Family, so I'm doing reruns. You may have seen these on Twitter and around teh interwebz, but I bet they'll give you a laugh anyway. See if you can spot where these doctors went wrong:

ACTUAL UNEDITED NOTES WRITTEN BY DOCTORS ON PATIENTS MEDICAL CHARTS

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
 
The patient stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today; who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

That awkward moment when a patient sees 'SOB' written on his chart and thinks you're insulting him: 


funny medical abbreviations
Click this picture for the full comic. 
(Courtesy of PoorMD via Cartoon Guide)

If you've got any that I missed, dump 'em in the comment section below. Have a happy Monday folks!

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*"more than" may be subjective

8 comments:

Dr Erhumu - twitter@drerhumu said...

Hahaha, made the mistake of reading this post whilst eating hot food, cracked me up real good. Will look out for some local examples.

Ken Wooi said...

1) ?
2) circumcised
3) complicated?
4) our care
5) liver
6) ?
7) ?
8) Shortness of Breath? (I googled :P)

The Angry Medic said...

Dr Erhumu: Awww, you are too kind as usual. Yes please do let me know if you hear any local examples!

Where do you find your energy? I am SO. FREAKING. TIRED. Mum's sick, a whole bunch of relatives are in hospital, I have some long-distance travelling to do...argh. I wish caffeine pills still worked on me (developed a tolerance for them in med school. Don't suggest that damn 'Eye of the Tiger' song - developed a tolerance of that too. In fact I pretty much can't freaking bear to listen to it anymore without perforating my own eardrums).

The Angry Medic said...

Ken Wooi: Wow, pretty damn good for a non-doctor! Then again should I really be surprised, coming from a successful blogger and tech master like you?

I'll post the rest of the answers soon!

Anonymous said...

Erm... Where's the post celebrating Chelsea's CL victory, or at least a couple of photo-shopped photos with John Terry taking credit for other people's achievements?

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr Angry,

Did you have anything to do with this?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18162679

The Angry Medic said...

John Terry's Greatest Fan Anonymous: It's rare that a comment manages to make me crack up laughing immediately. This did. Will get on it ASAP!

The Angry Medic said...

Newswatch Anonymous: Shit. I knew, I knew I shouldn't have fried that damn 10-year-old mainframe computer trying to get it to play Diablo 3.

Sorry. Now keep your voice down, won'tcha?!