I had a dream last night.In it, I had finally, finally, FINALLY finished medical school. It is the future. Everything looks like the future Cambridge in that Star Trek episode (pictured), DeLoreans whizzing in the skies and all. But due to budget constraints and increasingly pissy dons, the University is entirely run by robots now (with the Vice-Chancellor bearing an eerie resemblance to Futurama's 'Mom'). I am happy to finally, after what seems like gazillions of years (and probably is), graduate. But when I click on the University's Online Graduation System to receive my Virtual Diploma(TM)**, this suddenly pops up:
I'M GOING TO FAIL MY EXAMS!
Anyhoo, recently two medical bloggers gave the blogosphere a scare when they decided to quit blogging in favour of, you know, having lives. (Ah, the good ol' days, back when we had lives...What's that you say? You still HAVE lives? Oh. --Editor) Everyone's favourite underdog surgeon HospitalPhoenix has left the blogosphere after a troll attacked him on his blog (and I'm not talking about the kind you find in Hogwart's toilets --Ed) and thought-provoking med student writer MedStudentGod of Creating The Godcomplex also decided to call it quits.
Then, in the last week, both of them dropped comments here. I sensed the dam cracking--
--and now they've both returned to the blogosphere. MedStudentGod realised that the rants were building up in him, and Phoenix just had to show off his new 'The Golden Compass' daemon. (So he got a lion. Big deal. I would've gotten a lion too, just that I, uh, slipped when holding the mouse and ended up with a, well, mouse. But I'm actually a lion. Yep. No, really. Dammit, why is my nose growing? That chemist Geppetto SAID this cream'd stop it growing!--Ed)I guess we all get the impulse to stop blogging at times (if you don't blog, good for you. You've prolly got a life --Ed) but I maintain that the life of a medic contains too much widescreen madness not to write about. It's why I keep blogging, despite great incentive to stop (mostly in the form of my Director of Studies screaming at me "Are you still writing that stupid blog, dumbass? You're THREE FRIGGIN' WEEKS from exams and you're blogging?!" right before I get hit in the face with a Pathology textbook. --Ed).
**First-Class graduates get a Complimentary Online Handshake from the Vice-Chancellor -- you put your hand on your mouse and it vibrates for TEN WHOLE SECONDS. Some even say the Vice-Chancellor herself presses the button on the other end. A senior who graduated with a first class once actually let me touch his mouse -- it was the most motivating thing in the world. Felt a bit sticky, though, and when I asked him why, he turned red and mumbled something about the weather. Weirdo.
33 comments:
Yes, a vibrating mouse is useful for many things, its amazing that he let you touch it, let alone see it!
Anyway, I should tell you not to worry so much, remember that as long as you work hard, you would get your degree.
I have a feeling you won't fail. I have a feeling you'll be just fine.
If at any stage you think you're in danger of failing, there are preventative measures which can be taken... called studying and practising ;)
Medic, Medic, you can Not and will Not fail - you have an angel on your side! Put those thoughts out of your mind. You WILL pass. Any troll hounding your friends is a no, no...tell them NOT to give in.
Love ya, you can look, but touch no one else's mouse....ya, know what I'm say'en.;)
Ah, the sudden and terrifying feeling of falling down. Because you have it I feel you will do well. Being too confident or not anxious about exams often means that the person is not ready, but doesn't realize it. You'll be fine. Just relax.
And thanks for the shout - hommie.
Bloggers don't die. They just fade away.
That's probably what will happen with me. I know if I ever actually wrote "I'm done now" on my blog, I'd be back in ten days, tops. But there's still life in me yet, and like you said, there's just too much to blog about.
Oi. What're you two dudes doing up? Go to bed! You're only perpetuating the med student stereotype :)
My dear darling Medic, I know you're going to do your Mama proud and ace your exams.
Hugs from your Mama Jones.
aiyah... u wont fail la. if you managed to secure entry to cambridge already, i am sure you have some calibre, or at least somewhat competent. well... come back a doc!
Once you lose your blogging virginity, there's no turning back.
Angry, you crack me up. I know for a fact that you won't fail. Maybe you won't get 99.99994% in a paper somewhere, but you DO at least HAVE A LIFE. There are so many people out there who don't have a life and just study the entire time!
You. Will. Be. Fine.
(Yes, I meant to put fullstops after each word, it was supposed to be said in a very stoic, 'final' kinda way.)
And your posts just get funnier and funnier. LOVE the little image of the pop-up box - cracked me up no end!!
you won't fail.
cos if you do, you'll have to study more and we wont have time for that starbucks visit!
nah. you WON'T fail :)
Oh and by the way, re me being like Meredith Grey - is she the Chinese girl?? Please tell me she's not! I'm not like that Chinese girl in Grey's anatomy - not one bit!!
The people who worry about failing generally aren't the ones who fail. It's the ones who think everything will be fine so they don't study who fail. So, in short, you'll be fine.
My Daemon was a tiger! Rawwwr!
Dear Angry,
You'll do fine, I just know it...her Majesty herself told me so, just yesterday...btw, you're her favorite medic!
I hope you never stop blogging, I love your site, you are too, too funny...I am actually going to tell my m o m about your blog...lol. She will love it too, she'll probably say it reminds her of "Monty Python"...(everything British and funny reminds her of them!)...
Best wishes, tracy
Oh come oooon you won't fail :-)
Just watch out for that crammed feeling and soulsearch that goes with the exams..!
You 'll be fine...
you won't fail. i know stupider people who have passed 2nd year medicine at cambs.
oh my god i LOVE it (ie: find it absolutely refreshing) that Cal doesn't know all the Grey's Anatomy characters inside and out. love it, love it, love it!
i am absolutely CONVINCED that people i know have the desire to go into medicine (human) because that show glorifies it. not that there's anything wrong with glorifying medicine, but seriously, isn't it a little odd that med school applications have increased due to the release of Grey's Anatomy on ABC?
http://www.aamc.org/data/facts/2006/2006slr.htm
Ok, so my theory is bogus (kind of), but it's great to hear that not EVERY medical student is a fan of Grey's Anatomy.
Personally I love Grey's Anatomy and own a season pass with ITunes, but I'm a veterinary student. :)
Oh, by the way, Christina from Grey's is Korean.
oh...and to comment about your blog (sorry i forgot for second there) this is probably one of the best posts i've read so far this month. really funny. i hope that you do study your butt off for finals but it would be really great if you kept posting too. :) how am I supposed to get through finals without wasting MY time reading other people's blogs?
Ha ha, Medic. Your blue box thingy is pretty funny.
I know what you mean. I've like 3 stories to edit and my own to rewrite and I'm resuscitating my so-called blog. While at least I can honestly tell the other editor I have Writer's Blog (so I'm pronouncing words badly with Swiss chocs in my mouth).
You sound like you have a plot for Dark City 3.
stop blogging for a few weeks and you'll pass mate ;)
JOKING!!
you'll be fine.
You're going to be fine!
When are these awful exams anyway?
I'll look out for you in Cam this weekend, even though i've no idea what you look like! :D
I like how everyone says you won't fail. so just to be different - YOU WILL FAIL. kidding :P
you could always take a break you know, like taking no pay leave instead of quitting.
and vibrating mice?
Chill dear, I'm sure you'll pass with fluorescent colours (Glow in the dark perhaps?). Procrastinators usually pass exams because they're naturally brilliant. Wait, are they? Whatever it is, don't be too stressed. You'll do fine, just keep swimming through your books ;)
In less than 2 weeks, I'll let you know what graduating medical school feels like - putting aside all those fears of failing after endless hours of studying (okay, maybe not endless hours, but at least 2 or 3). Once that's done, I'll let you know about the horror of actually having to take care of people. What? I'm a doctor? Are you sure?!
You won't fail. I'm always flipping out before exams and I always do fine. Thinking that you're going to fail means that you're probably not going to. Those who go "meeh, it'll be fine" are the ones who fail.
You think you're going to fail because you've studied hard enough to know just how much material there is out there, and you feel like you don't know anything compared to the amount that it is possible to know. Luckily for you, there is only a small amount of the information that you will be tested on!!
Yep, just started realizing how addictive this is. Now when I'm in a ridiculous situation at school, I try to step back and think "the instant I get home, I'm blogging about this" and it seems to make me at least focus a little bit more.....
Hi Medic-you will pass with flying colors. Every serious student I have known always thinks they aren't going to do well on exams and they ace it.
Your blog must be a catharsis of sorts that releases anxieties and tensions, not to mention that it amuses us. :)
I love the computer box! LOL! :)
GOOD LUCK!
Don't worry too much and get plenty of sleep - it's good for your brain, honest.
EL: Easy for someone who's gonna get a first class and laugh at me as I clean bedpans in Barts and the London to say :)
HospitalPhoenix: Har har. Oh you're funny aren'tcha? Glad to see your caustic wit hasn't gone anywhere :)
But you're absolutely right mate. I should SUCK IT UP and DO SOME WORK.
Chrysalis Angel: Uhm. I was going to give a variation of the usual "Awww..." that comes to my mind whenever I read one of your compassionate gems...but then I saw that last bit. And now I can't say ANYTHING because I'm washing my ears out with soap. GOOD GAWD, Angel, you perv! :)
MSG: Aww thanks. I think you just discovered a whole new psychosocial theory there - look at the number of people agreeing with you. Enough material for another blog post, perhaps? I gave you that!
And no probs for the shoutout mate, it's great to have you back.
Nathan: I knew it. you're an addict, aren'tcha? Thanks for giving me some material to work with, by the way. And poke me when you graduate so I can update my links! Must be nice finally getting to move to 'Doctor Blogs'. I can't even SEE that happening in my future. Sheesh.
Mama Jones: Aww thanks Mama Jones! Now I HAVE to ace those exams. Yikes, I feel guilty sitting here already.
Zewt: Whoa, I haven't heard from you in so long! Hope you got my email okay. But yes, I'll tell you which hospital I get assigned to, and you can stay far far away :)
Beajerry: How true! Nice to see you here again, by the way. I was afraid you'd joined the list of people mentally affected by the crap I write here and warned away by doctor's orders :)
Everybody Else: Argh! Okay I've realised that replying 28 comments here isn't going to be much use since many of you aren't going to be reading replies here. So I'm coming over to all your blogs and stalking you there instead. Turn your Crap-n-Bad-Jokes filters on!
You just complimented my pics when wow, that "You've failed from too much blogging" pic is HI-larious!
Thanks for the Type B Medicine love... you should definitely guest post sometime.
Love love love the new masthead!
I've been long planning (and making!!) some of my own with different tag lines - I just don't know how to implement it into my blog code!!
Besides, i haven't got time - osces in two weeks and im really shite.
so much so that all sense of grammatical correctness has flied out of the window.
In addition to this, the DPhil vs PhD in Math requires a detailed examination of current and recent trends and developments in applied mathematics as well as in areas such as applied statistics, machine learning and robotics.
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