Heard Around The Hospital

This is part of a series of posts on funny things I hear around the hospital. For previous posts, click here.

Medical student quote of the day:

"So, what did you learn today?"

"I never knew that so much blood could come out of one patient's arm."

"Oh? What were you doing to the patient?"

"Taking blood."

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In clinic, from one of my fellow doctors:

"Hey Angry. You think if I put up a sign outside my door saying 'CRAP YOU GIVE ME WILL END UP ON MY BLOG' patients would give me less crap?"*

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"Mrs Smith, I'm here to give you your injection."

"What was that?"

"Mrs Smith, I'm HERE to give you YOUR INJECTION".

"I can't hear you boy, speak up."

"MRS SMITH I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU YOUR INJECTION!"

"Quiet boy! What do you think I am, deaf?"

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Sorry for the long absence, folks. I've had multiple family illnesses, a major move, and a runaway cousin to contend with. I know my readers have desperately missed me (all three of you) so I'll try to be less naughty and post more (as if the Internet needed any more bad humour).

*If you recognised that joke from my Facebook and Twitter accounts, then 1. OMG you actually pay attention to my crap? and 2. Correct. It was a colleague who also reads my Facebook quoting me to, well, me. Cheeky bugger.