Monday, March 05, 2012
The Angry Medic Gets Slapped
For those of you who, after my last emo post, are wondering if I put on a Robert Pattinson wig, stared at people passing by for annoyingly long periods of time in what I hope was an emo Japanese anime manner then jumped off the nearest hospital roof, fear not! I am still alive. (pause to wait for my ex-lecturers reading this to finish groaning in despair. I hate you guys. -Editor) I've just been having trouble uploading pictures onto Blogger, and my next post is pretty picture-dependent (read: 'cos I'm lazy and need badly Photoshopped pictures to be funny --Ed.) so instead I'll give you a purely text-based anecdote of what actually happened to me today:
Okay, a confession. I have a bad joke that I sometimes use on people I've just met. (pause to wait for all of you to finish groaning. Yes, I now know this is a bad idea. You'll see why soon. --Ed.) Usually people laugh awkwardly, or politely smile, or
swoon uncontrollably at my ridiculous good looks and kiss me on the lips roll their eyes, so I've always thought it was okay.
Today was a little different.
I was chatting to this girl I'd just met, and after getting to know one another she remarked, "You look a little tired."
"Oh yes, you noticed. See I, uh, I have a terminal illness."
She frowns with worry. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that..."
"Yeah," I say. "It's called laziness."
'Cos I'm terminally lazy, right? It's totally a phrase, right? Commonly known and is a least only a slightly bad joke, right?
This is where people usually roll their eyes or give me some sympathy fake laughter. But not this girl.
She slapped me.
SHE SLAPPED ME! As I clutch my face in shock and resist the urge to crawl into the fetal position and sob uncontrollably, she turns around and walks away.
Was it something I said?