Monday, March 05, 2012

The Angry Medic Gets Slapped

For those of you who, after my last emo post, are wondering if I put on a Robert Pattinson wig, stared at people passing by for annoyingly long periods of time in what I hope was an emo Japanese anime manner then jumped off the nearest hospital roof, fear not! I am still alive. (pause to wait for my ex-lecturers reading this to finish groaning in despair. I hate you guys. -Editor) I've just been having trouble uploading pictures onto Blogger, and my next post is pretty picture-dependent (read: 'cos I'm lazy and need badly Photoshopped pictures to be funny --Ed.) so instead I'll give you a purely text-based anecdote of what actually happened to me today:

Okay, a confession. I have a bad joke that I sometimes use on people I've just met. (pause to wait for all of you to finish groaning. Yes, I now know this is a bad idea. You'll see why soon. --Ed.) Usually people laugh awkwardly, or politely smile, or swoon uncontrollably at my ridiculous good looks and kiss me on the lips roll their eyes, so I've always thought it was okay.

Today was a little different.

I was chatting to this girl I'd just met, and after getting to know one another she remarked, "You look a little tired."

"Oh yes, you noticed. See I, uh, I have a terminal illness."

She frowns with worry. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that..."

"Yeah," I say. "It's called laziness."

'Cos I'm terminally lazy, right? It's totally a phrase, right? Commonly known and is a least only a slightly bad joke, right?

This is where people usually roll their eyes or give me some sympathy fake laughter. But not this girl.

She slapped me.

SHE SLAPPED ME! As I clutch my face in shock and resist the urge to crawl into the fetal position and sob uncontrollably, she turns around and walks away.

Was it something I said?

13 comments:

E M K A S said...

I heart you...

Dr Erhumu said...

Yes, must have been something you said. Now we can see why comedians are so well paid (they face a lot of hazards if a joke goes wrong).

Anonymous said...

i literally LOL-ed

Anonymous said...

i guess she got mad that u joked about something serious like being ill..

Ms-Ellisa said...

I think it's classic humor.
She's obviously uptight..
lucky for you she walked away

:-P

*blame it on the other person*

fin said...

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Arvinder said...

good joke, probably bad timing... more accurately- wrong audience.... cracking a joke isn't easy as people claim.

wootster said...

woo

The Angry Medic said...

EMKAS: AWWW I less than three you too! (seewhatIdidthere)

Dr Erhumu: I know right. I should get paid for this stuff too

Suspiciously Familiar-Sounding Anonymous: you sound exactly like a certain friend of mine. Are you a certain friend of mine? I think you are a certain friend of mine.

In which case, THANKS FOR GIVING ME THE HABIT OF SAYING "LOLLLL" OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF OLD PEOPLE WHO THEN STARE AT ME.

The Angry Medic said...

Sensible Anonymous: Yeah let's go with that. Makes me feel better. Lawl

Ms-Ellisa: EXACTLY. I like the way you think, madame.

Fin: SHADDAP Sybil! Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

(...and bring me a bandage please...)

The Angry Medic said...

Dr Arvinder: HAHAHA damn straight bro. Guess not everyone has your gift at joke-cracking (and silencing crying children in Paeds OSCEs) eh?

Wootster: Uh...Wooback?

RockSci said...

My guess would be she has a family member recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. Risky thing to joke about with someone you don't know anything about...

kamijyo touma said...

maybe she thought you said I'm sexy?