Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Do Not Disturb: Medical Students At Work

Newly graduated doctors, class of 2009.

As a medical student you get used to a feeling of power very quickly. Striding down the hospital hallways, stethoscope draped prominently across your shoulders and an important look on your face, patients and staff make way for you, reverent looks on their faces. There is an implicit trust across the consultation room table, even though the only lives you're going to save anytime soon are those of your greedy intestinal bacteria as you choose which sandwich you're going to have for lunch.

It is with full awareness of this trust that I bring to you these vignettes from med school. I've only been on the wards one week, but have managed to piss off two consultants, three janitors and one VERY large clinical teaching co-ordinator who may or may not have been the local wrestling champion in her original village in Africa. Stay tuned for more faith-reinforcing tales like this:

On Tuesday afternoon, three supposedly world-class medical students in a supposedly world-class university stand in the hallway of a supposedly world-class hospital. Their brows are furrowed in intense concentration, as if lives hung in the balance of their deliberations. Thick textbooks are clutched in their hands. The conversation goes something like this:

"Hey dudes. You watch House, right?"

"Um yeah. Why?"

"Cause here comes Asian Cuddy. Act natural."

"Dude, why're you using that textbook to cover your--"

"ACT NATURAL!"

Three supposedly world-class medical students, between them holding degrees in Cardiology, Surgery & Anaesthesia and Experimental Psychology, whistle nonchalantly as the Clinical Teaching Co-ordinator walks by, smiling sweetly as she chats on the phone.

"Dude that did NOT look like Cuddy."

"It so totally DID! Did you see the cleavage on that one?"

"Meh...I see the resemblance. But-- ooh she dropped a pen. She's bending over!"

Silence for a moment.

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"NOW she looks like Dr Cuddy."

More silence.

"Hey, didn't surgical rounds start like ten minutes ago?"

"SHIT."

23 comments:

Kendra said...

:)

Kenny said...

You probably already know about this but in case you don't, there's a great website which reviews the medical accuracy of each episode

http://www.politedissent.com/house_pd.html

So now, we definitely can revise by just sitting back and oling Cuddy's cleavage HA!

K

The Angry Medic said...

Kendra: LOL aha! Now who's stalking whom?

The Angry Medic said...

Kenny: Dude. Stop trying to find ways to learn medicine without doing any actual reading! (That's MY job.) Now go do some work :)

Miguel said...

You're some funny dude! Love your blog!

zewt said...

"... she's bending over..."

LOL!!!

i guess doctors, no matter how world class they are... are humans after all.

Ms-Ellisa said...

Classic stuff Angry... classic stuff...
*sigh*

...zewt: well "-human" IS in "superhuman" after all...! :-P

tracy said...

i love you so much, Angry! i wish you could be this old lady's physican when you finish. (ugh, did that sound kinda gross? Sorry.)

The Angry Medic said...

Miguel: Aww dude now you made me blush. How am I gonna catch those hot nurses now? Not macho, man, not macho! :)

Zewt: OMG you're alive! And LOL that's why I said "supposedly" world-class. My lecturers like to think so anyway. Cough.

The Angry Medic said...

Ms Ellisa: LOL woman where you been? My stalking of you has not been up to standard lately has it :P And well spotted, 'human' IS in 'superhuman'. So's 'subhuman', which is what one patient called me this week...

Momma Tracy: Aww no that's not gross at all...though you might regret it when you see my impressive collection of malpractice lawsuits! ;)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Once, to get a particularly annoying drug rep to leave, I asked her if her company allows it's female reps to wear bikinis to work.

It worked. She hasn't been back yet. And my staff is delighted.

Dan said...

female scientists can be hot too... there's this particular one that does salsa and has a damn tight bottom. woo hoo.

Dan said...

i hope she doesn't read this or i'll get my bottom spanked.

Dan said...

oh wait that's not a bad thing

Mirage said...

ah, so this is the other kind of effect of watching House. lol.

Midwife with a Knife said...

LOL. The one way to guarentee not acting natural in that situation is by telling someone to "Act NATURAL!". ;)

The Only Black kid in his med class... said...

"may or may not have been wrestling champion in her original village in Africa."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc

Gabriel Wu said...

I guess your post explains this trend...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8269729.stm

Spark Star said...

SHIT!!! Men all over the worlds are SAME!! lol

Anonymous said...

hey every one i just wanted to ask wether iz science field hard or easy,interesting or kind of waste of time !!! answer me fast ..
thank you

Anonymous said...

am realyy confused to choose between sci-commerce stream !!!!!!

Dan said...

hahaha i LOVE the lack of responses after the last two comments!

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