(Well. That, and the fact that I have NO FREAKIN' CLUE what to do next year. --Editor)
To prove my point, I asked my Director of Studies why he hasn't replied my emails yet. It turns out that he never received any of them, thanks to a combination of an extremely efficient and paranoid email filter program, and the pure bad luck of my university email address containing the letters A, S and S. In that order. (Yes. Uh. Those are my initials. Don't ask. --Editor)
So, some background information! *opens University prospectus* At Cambridge, medics in our third year have the option of choosing any subject out of a range of choices in the Natural Sciences course, or transferring to another subject entirely. Completion of this course leads to a B.A. degree, and-- what's that? You're asleep already? Okay then, in short, I need to choose a subject for next year so I can stop learning about itty-bitty little molecules and how they make love with each other in some enzyme's Protein Groove Of Luuurve, and actually learn how to be a real-life doctor.
So why can't I do this by myself? Well, it has to do with the fact that at this point my brain is so full of drug names that I have the decision-making capacity of Britney Spears in a hair salon. Plus the option list looks like this:
For ease and clarity (and so I can procrastinate some more --Ed) I will use famous people (and one famous place) to associate with each option I'm considering. See if you can match them up before we're done. Ready? Here's the list of options:
3. Experimental Psychology
4. History and Philosophy of Science
and here's the list of famous people (and one place):
1. Forrest Gump
2. Haley Joel Osment
3. Courtney Love
4. Lindsay Lohan
5. New Orleans, Louisiana
Right. Let's start with Pathology. Cells, both living and dead, and the diseases they cause. I'm leaning towards this because one of the pathology courses is really clinical, and I wanna learn what to do if, oh I don't know, someone fainted in a roomful of Cambridge medics? Plus I find it really fun, and Pathologists Anonymous is one of my favourite blogs. This one was easy: Haley Joel Osment.
Next up, Pharmacology! Lots and lots of drugs and their mechanisms. Pros: It's interesting, and clinically relevant as doctors use drugs. Cons: You're not sure what use it has in real life, and there's lots of drugs involved. Kinda like Lindsay Lohan.
Experimental Psychology is fun. Besides getting more lectures from Borat's cousin Simon Baron-Cohen, I like poking around in people's heads and learning how we think. My parents also support me taking this option, because they hope that one day I'll learn enough to be able to cure my own mental retardation. The cons: It's all mental. Like Courtney Love.
History and Philosophy of Science: Ahhh, the honeymoon. Incorporated into the course to accommodate the many medics who accumulate so much mental damage from the first 2 years that they need some time out, this is a mostly theoretical option with no practicals and lots of off-time. Answer: New Orleans. (The Big Easy. Geddit? AHAHAHA how witty am I? Hire me now, Comedy Central! --Ed)
And finally, the Big Opt-Out: Law. We're also allowed to do non-medical subjects, and some medics take a 2-year conversion course to law. You get to go back to medicine after 2 years, of course, and graduate eventually with 2 degrees, but the main thing for me is that it means I can escape medicine for a coupla years. Or, as one medic-turned-lawyer put it to me: "RUN FORREST RUN!"
So there ya have it. How'd you score? But more importantly:
What would YOU choose?
P.S. A very sincere thank you to all of you who left comments and advice on my previous post. It was heartwarming to know that so many people cared, and that there are some good people in the world. No, that's NOT a tear in my eye, okay? It's just, uh, a splinter of wood from my last bout of banging my head against the table in despair. I find it therapeutic.