Thursday, April 05, 2007

Why Did The Iranians Release The British Prisoners?

Because their President was in a good Mah-MOOD.


*ducks to avoid avalanche of rotten tomatoes*

Sorry, it's a terrible joke. That's what you get when you try and spend 18 hours in a library studying continuously (and fail horribly, by the way --Editor).

But you have to admit, no matter what you think of Iran, their president is a shrewd, clever man. That strategic move was brilliant. The BBC agrees.

But in the meantime, I have greater trouble brewing in my quest to desperately finish revision in time for the big Pharm exam on the 24th:

I can't wake up.

No, not like THAT, silly. Does this sound like I was typing this in my sleep? (Don't answer that. --Ed) When I fall asleep nowadays I wake up 12 hours later. With only 12 hours left in a day, I can't revise enough. Since most of you out there reading this are smarter than I am, it'd be great if you could drop off a tip or two on How To Wake Up On Time. (I know, I know, you're prolly wondering why you're reading a blog written by an idiot, but I assure you I am not one. No matter what this test says. --Ed)

In the meantime, I've got some bad MTAS news for you next. Stay tuned!


HospitalPhoenix said...

Get an alarm clock and a coffee machine. Works for me.

The Angry Medic said...

Coffee! Now why didn't I think of that?

And my 'alarm clock' is my phone, which has Donald Trump screaming at me to get my arse out of bed. Unfortunately it comes with a Snooze button that gives up after I hit it the 5th time. Maybe I should get a proper clock?

Xavier Emmanuelle said...

Several alarm clocks. Preferably 3. Set them all 2 minutes apart, so you can't fall asleep for long enough to get thoroughly asleep between them. You'll eventually realize it's really not worth it getting out of bed every two minutes to shut them off, and you'll get up. (It's what I did when I had to be at work for 5 a.m.)

Anonymous said...

Get multiple sets of alarm clock. If they're not enough, include your phone too and don't forget to annoy your friend to give you a wake up call.

Midwife with a Knife said...

My suggestions are pretty simple. Get up at the same time every morning. Your body will get used to it. Put your alarm clock in a corner where you'll have to walk over to it to hit the snooze. Go to bed at a reasonable time every night. Get some exercise daily. Oh, and avoid alcohol. I think those are the only ways to do it. I hope your studying goes well! Pharm was my worst subject. :P

Chrysalis Angel said...

Hope you've dried yourself off from the tomato onslaught. I laughed, but then, you know me. Your people have the right idea, poor Medic.

HospitalPhoenix said...

midwife with a knife - you must be a grownup. Those suggestions are far too sensible for a young scamp of a medical student to heed!

Dan said...

don't force yourself to stay awake, it impairs productivity. sleep enough and then make the most of your mugging time. i can't start mugging yet, as i have a heat exchanger design project going on.

Cal said...

Oh no, that joke was horrendous, I see that these intense hardcore revision sessions have addled your brains...

My tip (a bit weird!) is to drink shitloads of water just before you get into bed. That way, you'll wake up early to pee! It works for me...

Another thing is to have your alarm clock far away so you have to physically get up, out of bed and walk across the room to switch it off. That way you're kinda a bit more awake...

And I second what HP said - COFFEE!! Plenty of it!!

Midwife with a Knife said...

hp: Nope, not really a grown-up. At least, I hope not. Angry Medic didn't specify he wanted the um... how to say this... less responsible suggestions.

In that case, I'd recommend large amounts of soda (diet if need be) and some Provigil/modafinil if it's available (ok, just kidding on this last one. Don't try this at home!).

Seriously, the other suggestion I have is to treat studying like a job. You can't really do more than 8 hours of effective studying in a day, so limit it to that; give yourself permission to have some fun before bed, and take at least 1 day each week away from studying. :)

nemesis-on-fire said...

medic: I'm alive, thanx! and oh! flattery gets u everywhere, doesn't it? :P

btw, i echo xavier emmanuelle. i did that :P cos i ALWAYS slept through my alarm, i nearly missed my microbiology exam :P and yes, whoever said put the alarm at the other end of the room is right too. imagine getting up 3 times to shut off 3 different alarms set 3-5 minutes apart. worked like a charm for me.

Argus Lou said...

"Midwife with a Knife"! Nice and charming handle there.

After 39 years of trying to get up on time -- for anything, from trying to arrive on time for classes, work, appointments, wedding, etc -- here is my sage, ahem, advice:

The drink-lots-of-water-before-bedtime ploy only works if you have one of the faster bladders in the West (or East).

Snooze buttons are evil. Don't mess with them. (I once 'snoozed' 12 times -- they were spaced 10 minutes apart -- so it was as good as not setting an alarm.)

And once you get up to shut off the really loud & annoying alarm across the room, NEVER get back into bed "for a bit of a rest because, oh, I feel so tired". (Put up a barbwire fence around your bed if necessary.) Quickly drink a glass of cold water.

Get at least 6 hours' sleep at a stretch, or else you won't retain what you revise.

(Midwife, ee-yer, what is a "bit of fun" before bedtime?! Close your ears, Medic!)

zewt said...

so did you receive my mail or not ah?

the little medic said...

Why don't you leave your phone at the other side of the room. Then you've got to get up to turn it off?

Anonymous said...

i think 12 hours is perfectly resonable :)

another way is to go to bed telling yourself that you have to wake up at 8am. picture the clock at 8am in your mind, and you will wake up at that time :) if imagining clocks are too abstract for you, organise to have coffee with someone each day at 8.30am - gives you something to wake up for everyday, and if you're late they'll call to harass you :)

and yeah, exercise is good.


Anonymous said...

Agree with anon, ommittments are a good way to keep to schedule. If I have nothing to do I stay in bed til lunchtime, whereas if I have to meet someone or do something at 8.30 I'm out of bed early and determined not to let them down.

lesser being of leisure said...

I agree with the several alarms idea.

When I'm traveling and have a late flight in, I use cell phone, wakeup call, and bedside alarm clock.

I'm sorry about the test :(

Been there, done that way too many times myself.

Dr Michelle Tempest said...

Just to say good luck with the Pharm... and yes, I watched Dr Who as well! Michelle

medstudentitis said...

I put my clock half way across my room so I have to get up and turn it off. For me, while I'm studying for exams I get so catecholaminorific (putting a little pharm in there just for you) that I can't sleep anymore. Perhaps you're just not scared enough yet. oh, and the 24th is SO FAR AWAY. My exams are next week and, well, I'm screwed too, but you have lots of time.

SeaSpray said...

Hi A.M.-I don't know how you all function and absorb necessary info when you are so sleep deprived. I have heard that if you bite into a lemon that it will jolt you awake for a bit. So...go buy that lemon and carry those wedges in your pockets and that is wedges not wedgies. Don't think wedgies twisted up to your pockets would be too comfortable...although...that might keep you awake...hmmm ...maybe - give it a try and bite on the lemons too. :)

What did you think of the Apprentice last week? I think if they were interested in each other they should've agreed to pursue it "after" the competition. I am surprised Frank is still there - I don't see him working for the Donald.

Anonymous said...

Can't offer you any tips as I'm in a similar position myself!
Wishing you luck in the exams though :)


Eugene Lau said...

That joke is not only lame (not that it can't walk) but is also racist!

I have exactly the same problem, I HAVE TO sleep 15 hours a day every so often. I think its caused by unstable sleeping brain patterns, or lack of deep sleep to get us properly rested, as we dream of Tripos the moment we do.

Hope you are well, called by but you weren't in. I'm guessing you were in the library.

PS: Happy Good Friday! I didn't see you at church today, perhaps you forgot? Want me to remind you for Easter?

pigman said...

if you eat pig, you will sleep more. eat less pig.

osama said...

you dare insult my brother you western infedel! i will attack you with ak47!!

ditzydoctor said...

COFFEEEEEE!!!! (i repeat myself here)

hoho try getting one of those HUGE windup clocks (they're super cute) that has really really loud bells. apparently they're quite cheap and can't be snoozed.

put your alarm clocks (spaced about 2 minutes apart) all around your room, far enough such that you've to walk to reach them. and have at least 3 alarm clocks!

or get a vibrating alarm clock and stuff it under your pillow. drags you out of bed when your temples are vibrating!

ooh i think the drinking lots of water thing works really really well. except it might backfire and you might get up at 4 am in the morning and sleep right through everything!

pharm. is terrible! all side effects and mechanisms of actions. do past year papers (if your college is anything like mine, being traditional schools) and you'll realise what's important (hopefully!)

a few more weeks!!! buck up angry :)

not feera said...

*throws rotten egg*
*throws another one*

connect a weight sensitive bomb under your bed (preferably C4 or the like) and modify the remote as your alarm clock,so once you get up to turn it off the bomb is activated and you wont be so tempted to lie back down. because then you might just be turned into pink mist and that isnt much help with Pharmacology, is it.
cheers =D

ash said...

try holding your breath for a minute.

oops wait, that's for hiccups.

Xavier Emmanuelle said...

Hi AM,
I realized I'd forgotten to blogroll you. I've added you to my links, hope you don't mind!

Dan said...

i have the perfect solution. think that if you do not get out of bed soon, you will turn into eugene.

The Angry Medic said...

Xavier Emmanuelle: Thanks for the tip. I've gotten another alarm clock, and am gonna try it tomorrow.Now if only I was MacGyver so I could make the snooze buttons explode when I pressed 'em :)

And no probs about the blogroll - I added you some time ago!

Midwife with a Knife: Haha - when I first read your suggestions I thought something similar to HP, but he beat me to it. Those WERE sensible suggestions, and I know I really should wake up regularly, but I'm at uni, I'm SUPPOSED to be reckless and make poor lifestyle choices, ya know? :)

Sound advice though. I don't drink, and I'm gonna seriously try and get my body clock back in shape. (And to echo Argus up there; you could've worded 'have a little fun before bed' better, couldn't you? ;)

HospitalPhoenix: Oh, ye of little faith! I happen to go to bed at perfectly reasonable times. The sun just rises early nowadays, that's all.

Cal: Uhm...okay. That wasn't weird at all, oh no :) Thanks! Must try it this week.

And yep, I've put an alarm clock far away, and my Donald Trump action figure next to my phone (which already features Trump screaming as my wake-up call). Having an angry billionair shout you awake every morning promises to be effective, no?

Argus Lou: Whoa. Thanks. Does memory really become less effective the more you stay awake? (I mean within reason, not expecting ti remember 300 drugs after 11 days without sleep.)

And heh. I'm glad someone else spotted Midwife's dodgy "fun before bed" statement! I was, uh, wondering what that meant myself :)

Svna: I know! I used to do that, until I woke up and found 300 missed calls on my phone. Apparently nowadays I sleep like a log. Dangit! If I don't stop soon I'm going to have the brain of one too.

And speaking of coffee, when are we having it? Antisocial!

Ryann said...

If all else fails:

The Angry Medic said...

Nemesis: You ARE alive! Why, my dear, you always knew I had the gift of gab :)

You did microbiology? I thought you did some unintellectual capitalist thingy like Economics or something. Why are you away so long nowadays then, huh?

More on your blog. Stop flirting with me here, I have a good-boy reputation to keep, you know ;)

Zewt: Yes, old friend, I did get your email, thanks. I wanted to share my condolences regarding your mother, and to thank you for your wonderful posts about her. But I was afraid my words would be drowned in the flood of comments you got, because I want to properly tell you this. I've just been a teensy bit busy; I'll email you very soon. So sorry for the wait, man.

Lesser Being: 3 alarm clocks. Got it. Now to place one across the room from my bed, and the other in my middle ear. And thanks for the sympathy...someone else who understands! :)

Medstudentitis: You're absolutely right, when I first read your comment I wasn't scared. But now I'm afraid! I'm very afraid! OH GAWD THE 24TH IS SO CLOSE AND I'VE GOT 35 LECTURES TO DO WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEE--

*jumps into the River Cam*

SeaSpray: Yes I did watch the episode! (haven't missed a single one. The Arnold Schwarzenegger one was touching.) More on your blog soon - especially after I catch last night's ep!

zewt said...

ok... i shall wait then.

red rabbit said...

Actually, with my method of getting up on time, you can chuck out your alarm clocks. I'm a sleeper-inner myself and this is my I-have-an-exam-or-early-flight foolproof method.


Immediately before going to bed, after brushing your teeth, drink two pint-glasses full of water.

If THAT doesn't get you up in the morning... you might need to invest in some rubber sheets.