Sunday, January 07, 2007

NHS Reaps What It Sows; Government In Shock

I know this is a little late, but I wanted to hear what other bloggers had to say on this BBC report regarding the documents leaked from the Department of Health.

Here's what my tiny uncomprehending med student brain has grasped so far. The government has poured tons of money into the National Health Service (NHS). Then all of a sudden, they realise that they're in huge debt and surprise surprise, the NHS still isn't fixed. So they go "oh shit!" and chop jobs, close hospitals and replace doctors with nurses. Newly qualified doctors are walking the streets jobless. And poor med students like me aren't having it so easy either.

What next?

As Dr Rant so eloquently puts it, any half-starved retard could've seen this coming. You chop expenditure by axing jobs, what do you get?

Why, a job shortage, of course.

But this isn't just ANY job shortage. Britain is to be short of 1,200 GPs, 14,000 nurses and 1,100 junior and staff-grade doctors by 2011. (Watch the video, if only for its comedy value.)

Does it stop there?

Only if you believe in fluffy bunnies and La-la Land. Dr Crippen shows how, once again, the ugly racist side of medical politics may rear its head. Wat Tyler, in his economic wisdom, shows how this means even more belt-tightening for doctors and nurses alike.

And how do we solve this?

Patricia Hewitt has an answer. "Let us transform the NHS", she says, with the conviction (and vocabulary) of a prophet.

She has also, after promising to resign if she didn't fix the NHS, retracted said promise, no doubt due to her sheer conviction that she is the only thing holding the NHS together.

I will send her a picture of another Transforming prophet to inspire her along her way.

Optimus Prime as Jesus in The Last Supper


Anonymous said...

...Optimus Prime?!

Prof Scrub said...

Dear angry medic,

I not only believe in but also happen to know for a fact that fluffy bunnies and La-la Land exist. Indeed I have visited La La land on many occasions.

On one particular occasion, I did meet Patsy Hewitt there. She was frolicking in a sexy white night gown, skipping bear footed, picking red roses. I came up to her and said "Hey baby, have you seen wanna these?" as I pulled down my pants. She could not resist and we made sweet passionate love all night long. I then wiped myself clean with a fluffy bunny.

Happy memories indeed,
Yours happily,
Prof Scrub

Anonymous said...

Fucking bitch said she'd go when she failed. now she's failed, she says she 'won't be forced into resignation'

Make that a fucking lying bitch.

Dr K said...

I was so looking forward to that woman being burned at the stake, even though her comments are so comical they make me laugh until I'm in pain. Then I remember she's in charge of the NHS and it makes me cry until I'm in pain.

Love the pictures by the way!

Wandering Medic aka The Wanderer said...

Dude, you are one angry man (and for good reason too). Cheers for adding me, reciprocated of course....

The Island Med Student said...

I can also confirm the existence of the Fluffy Bunnies. They've shown me the way on more than one occasion.

howling said...

It's about time the NHS invest more money on smart AI's with big muscles to try to reverse the looming huge staffing crisis. I wouldn't mind working on my own in ITU with 10 or more robots I could play with.

"Dr Robot could you put an art line in on bed 2 and upload the ABG's to my notebook please!"

Hey! is that Mazinger Z thumping Jesus off from the table?

The Angry Medic said...

Prof Scrub: Oh. Gawd.

What was it exactly that you were trying to achieve there?

Anonymous: Very eloquently expressed. Though I believe the lies started with those magic words, "The NHS has had its best year ever". Puts her up there with the Iraqi Defense Minister.

Dr K: I know. It terrifies me to no end that I'm slogging through all this only to work for the likes of her.

Glad you liked the pics! I had a lot of fun doing them for this post.

The Angry Medic said...

Wandering Medic: No prob. Like I told Adam, I had no idea there was this community of med students out there. We gotta stick together man! Yeah. Respect. *thumps hand on chest*

Island Med Student: Aww, you're such a dear. If only all of us could hold on to our idealism as you do, even in these times.

Howling: Heh. I had no idea Mazinger Z existed til you plonked that link up. So many Japanese animes out there with characters that look suspiciously like Optimus Prime, you know?

But Prime's the man. Yeah.

And hey, who's to say the DH won't come up with robot doctors and nurses as their next big idea? All it'll take is one opportunistic Japanese robot company...

Sid Schwab said...

Evidently the theory of which the US president is currently the loudest proponent -- namely, that you can get everything for nothing -- is alive and well in the UK as well. On this side of the pond, it is now unquestioned by most that cutting taxes will get you want you most want. War, health care, and yes, furry bunnies. And you needn't worry about paying for it. It's magic, and it's wonderful, and it makes me warm all over. (Oh wait. The warm seems to be urine...)

Nathan said...

And then some of our political luminaries (such as Sen. Clinton) look over there and say "see, Britain has made nationalized health care work!"

We may have a royally painful slog over here, but at least it is partly in the hands of the private sector and the market to figure it out. (darn, I just betrayed a political conviction)

The Angry Medic said...

Dr Schwab: I sympathise. I will ask Prof Scrub to help clean up your country; he seems to have plenty of experience with incontinence to deal with it.

I had no idea the US was in the same boat. All those snapshots of American medicine I get (House, Grey's Anatomy et al) seem to portray US medical politics as being tame and in Happy-Happy Land.

Nathan: Clinton did WHAT?! He attempted to delude the people of the world's only superpower with such an obvious lie?!

Man. I liked Bill. Despite the whole Lewinsky thing. I thought he was smart.

Nathan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nathan said...

This is his wife, the Senator.