The Question Everyone Should Ask Themselves, Part Two

If you haven't read Part One of this post, I strongly recommend you do before reading this.

In my last post, I promised to ask you a question that everyone should ask themselves before they die. I know I joke about kids reading my blog, but the truth is I don't have many young readers (well, besides the Beliebers who occasionally send me hate mail for my Justin Bieber memes). Most people who come here have graduated or are studying for a degree.

I bet you've worked hard to get here you are now. I want you, for a moment, to think about that journey. To remember your hardest, darkest hours, as well as your greatest triumphs. I want you to recall some of the faces you remember from those times. To feel the pain, the sweat, and the joy that all those moments brought you.

Now. Considering all you've endured to be where you are today. I want you to look back on it all and ask yourself -

Was it worth it?

Did you end up exactly how you thought you would end up, all those years ago? Are you doing what you imagined you'd be doing?

Do you love what you do?

One of my drama directors back in Cambridge asked us this once. He said at the end of every play, he'd ask his cast and crew this question. And his goal as a director was to make their experience so enjoyable that they answered yes.

Let's face it - I didn't want to be a doctor. If I could go back in time, before I went to med school, and do something different, I would. Because I may be a good doctor now. But I could have been a great something else.

But I lacked the courage to chase my dreams. In my second year, a friend of mine from another college failed many papers. When he went to see his Director of Studies to arrange resits, his DoS told him frankly, "I've seen this pattern of results before. It usually means that deep down inside, you don't really want to do medicine." My friend took his advice, and left medical school. He is now earning a six-figure salary at a law firm in London, and wakes up every day knowing he loves what he does.

I envy him.

But like Darth Vader said to Luke, "It is too late for me, son." But not for you. You can still change your life. So ask yourself today, "Was it worth it?"

I sincerely hope the answer is yes.

The Question Everyone Should Ask Themselves, Part One

I was going to put up a post with a bunch of stuff that made me laugh in the past few days. But some very serious issues have been eating at me for a while now, demanding to be written down. I can't ignore them much longer.

I don't care who you are or what you do for a living. I want you to answer a question. A question that everyone should ask themselves at some point in life.

First, if you can, watch this video. It shows CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr Sanjay Gupta, a successful broadcaster and brain surgeon, giving the commencement address to the graduating class of the University of Michigan last week. He's funny, he's engaging, but he has some very important life lessons to teach.

It's 20 minutes long, but it may change your life.

 

 Notice how he breaks every lesson down. Write them down. Remember them. This man got a standing ovation from 40,000 people that day.

Now I want you to come back tomorrow, whether you watched it or not. Because I will ask you a very important question. A question every person in this world should ask themselves before they die.

Stuff They Don't Teach You In Medical School: Inflight Emergencies

This is part of a series on medical school advice. To see the previous entry, click here.

Okay, so you don't really follow CPR guidelines, but what does he know? He's just some dumb kid.
(What's that you say? Not as dumb as the guy who Photoshopped this in the first place? SHADDAP.)

A few posts ago I wrote about how I single-handedly saved a beautiful woman from her heart exploding aboard a plane before making wild love to her and being dragged upstairs to the crew bedroom by about ten air stewardesses. Wait what? That didn't happen? Damn. I knew drinking coffee before bed would give me crazy dreams. Anyway,what I DID do was help a senior doctor resuscitate and take care of this elderly lady who had fainted after feeling dizzy on a long-haul flight. She had drunk more wine than she was used to before going to sleep.

I was woken up by the doctor's wife telling me that this lady was nearly unconscious. Halfway through rubbing my eyes, I remembered that I was a doctor and my brain started screaming the resus mnemonic at me. The air stewardess passed by, and I called her over and told her urgently "Get me a cup of water please".

"No, not water." Came the authoritative voice of Dr Baldy (not me, the other senior doctor. Imagine the rapper Pitbull except as a doctor. Wait, actually, that would make him Dr Evil. Never mind. --Editor).

I stopped. Both me and the stewardess looked at him.

"Bring her a cup of 7-Up instead. Just a small one," he said, and the stewardess nodded.

As she ran off, I asked Dr Baldy what type of doctor he was. "Oh, I'm a GP," he said. "What's with the 7-Up?" I followed. He proceeded to explain to me that in his experience as a GP, when people were feeling nauseous (like they're going to vomit), giving them plain water would often make them vomit, whereas a small quantity of a sugary carbonated drink actually helped fight the feeling and calmed them down somewhat. "7-Up seems to work the best, in my experience," he added. "I don't know why, but a lot of being a GP is working from experience".

He was right. The lady felt better and less thirsty, and she didn't throw up.

Later after the flight landed, I thanked him for the tip. "Any other last tips?" I asked him.

"Just one. Don't work in the NHS." He winked, put his arm around his wife, and headed for his connecting flight.

I started giggling like a schoolgirl going "ZOMG I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HIM" over and over again picked up my bags and also left. Who knew 7-Up could be so useful?

So kids, the next time you feel sick from catching a virus/eating bad food/reading this blog, remember - SIP SOME 7-UP, NOT WATER. See? Who said reading my blog wasn't educational?

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Stuff They Don't Teach You In Medical School: Who's The Boss

I have always believed in helping my fellow medical students. That's even why I set up this blog: so that I could share experiences and insights about the illuminating journey that is medical schoo-- ah screw it, okay fine I set up this blog because life hates me and I figured, I should at least share my misery and make people laugh. There.

Anyway as part of my effort to warn educate other medical students and members of the public, now that I'm a real doctor (I SEE YOU LAUGHING! STOP THAT! -- Editor) I thought I'd start a little series on the real-life stuff you find out as a doctor that you wish those bastar-- uh, loving lecturers had remembered to teach you in medical school.

So for our first lesson, children, I'm going to ask you a simple multiple-choice question. A simple one, but bloody hell is it an important one for doctors, students, and any poor fool who has to visit a hospital actually. Ready? Here it comes:

FROM AMONG THE FOLLOWING STAFF ON THE WARD, WHICH ONE IS THE BOSS?

Click to enlarge. Go on, it's worth it. I slaved five hours to make this! 

(OK so I suck at Photoshop. Leave me alone.)

Choose from among the following answers:

1. House Officers/Interns/Slaves - the lowest on the food chain, even lower than medical students (YES FOLKS! You think you're getting a PROMOTION when you graduate and become a real doctor? HAHAHAHAHA-- wait, you're being serious. --Ed.) and responsible for doing all the crap that other doctors don't want to do.

2. Registrars/Residents/Medical Officers (MO) - senior doctors with years of experience, one step down the food chain from big boss. They run the ward when no boss doctors are around, and are generally the source of both great teaching and great misery for junior doctors.

3. Head of Department (HOD)/Chief of Medicine/Chief of Surgery - the biggest, baddest, most experienced doctor around. Top of the ward food chain and has doctors fleeing before him in terror. House officers have been known to kiss the ground they walk on.

4. Nurses - The front line of medical care to the patients. They do the stuff even junior doctors won't/aren't allowed to do. Run things on the ward when doctors aren't around.

5. Patients - The point of the whole health service actually. Known to be either really nice or complete freakshows. If patient also happens to be a doctor, you're REALLY screwed.

Choose one. Done? Okay what did you answer? Check your number below:

IF YOU ANSWERED

1. - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nice one. Seriously, I needed a laugh. Thanks.

2. - Not as ridiculous as the previous answer, but still no. Sometimes they are the boss, especially when it's 4am, the boss doctor who usually protects you is asleep, none of your friends are around, and the registrar/resident/MO remembers you as the funny-looking junior who insulted his hairstyle behind his back when you thought he wasn't listening. Oh yes.

3. - If you chose this, congratulations! You have a working brain! 90% of readers chose this option.

It is however, FALSE. Gasp! Why, you ask? Has Angry Medic lost his mind? (He has, but that's a story for another time.) I'll explain in a bit.

5. - Well...this is a tough one to explain. Patients SHOULD be in charge, especially with all this touchy-feely 'patient-centered care' crap that they pound into medical students' heads from day one. But sadly, they are not.

This leaves:

4. Nurses - That's right folks!

And don't you forget it.

A very, VERY important part of life on the wards that they don't teach you in med school (but surprisingly do in Grey's Anatomy. See Mom? And you scolded me for spending more time watching that crap than actually studying. HAH. --Ed.) is that nurses are REALLY in charge of the ward. Piss them off, and they can make life a LIVING. HELL. Treat them nicely and they'll help you put that central line in, tell you which doctors are nice and which doctors to avoid like a Justin Bieber album, and warn you wayyy ahead of time when Mr No-I'm-Just-Going-Down-For-A-Walk is actually smoking at the hospital entrance and is about to set his face on fire.

See, who says reading my blog isn't a waste of time?

*Thanks to Mother Jones RN of Nurse Ratched's Place for inspiring this post. Sort of.