It's Cambridge Season: Good Luck!

Me wishing good luck to all you poor masochists applying to Cambridge, Soviet-style.
Word of advice: find a psychiatrist NOW.

Sorry for the delay in updates, folks; I've been wading nipple-deep in clinical school and trying hard to survive. And in just these past few months of working in a hospital, one of the deep and profound truths of medicine has been revealed to me. Being constantly surrounded by people in pain and helping to alleviate their suffering has shown me, finally, a great secret of life that all those who walk this hallowed path of healing eventually learn:

That medical students - especially medical students who have been at a traditional stick-up-the-arse teach-them-theory-only university and therefore know nuts about clinical skills - really are the lowest, most base, most wretched form of life on the planet.

Cambridge University's stance on equipping its future doctors
(no, smartass, that is NOT a grammatical error.)

But more on that later - I'm still rubbing the latest boot-shaped bruise inflicted on me by the drug nurse this morning when I made the tactically brilliant move of interrupting her during her drug rounds. (Bonus tip for budding medical students: DON'T. Especially if said drug nurse is 6 feet tall, Samoan, and stealing a couple of Valium pills off her drug cart every few minutes. --Ed.)

Anyhoo, it's around the time of year that hundreds of candidates around the world buck up for interviews, study their pants off for Cambridge admissions tests and start making prayers/offerings/virgin sacrifices to their favourite deities; yes that's right - it's Cambridge interview season! I'd just like to wish all Cambridge applicants good luck (you poor bastards. --Ed.). I've written before on interviews and stuff - this page may help. Any questions can be shot to me at angrymedic [at] gmail [dot] com and hey, if you don't make it, you can always get the t-shirt - it's way cooler anyway. Don't panic!

The Hitchhiker's Guide To Sitting For Cambridge Interviews

I've been getting reports from all over the country about rising panic levels in conjunction with the Cambridge interviews, so I thought I'd dedicate a short post to those sitting for the interviews this year.

I think one of the most important things you can do is take the advice printed on the back cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in large red comforting letters: DON'T PANIC.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, despite firsthand accounts from traumatised ex-interviewees (myself included) and despite the horror stories circulating, the interview really isn't going to look like this:



Rather, you'll be interviewed by this nice man, who is going to sit you down, look at your form, dig your mind, and find out how you think and what makes you tick. So take a deep breath, stretch your eyelashes (even if you're a guy. it's how I got in anyway. take eyelash-batting lessons, they help you get ahead in life) and, of course, Don't Panic.

The other thing I'm worried about is that some people, for reasons beyond my mortal understanding, are so fixated on getting into Cambridge that they're sure their lives will be over if they don't. Now why they think that, despite having read my tales of misery from this crazy crazy town, is beyond me. Newsflash: Not getting into Cambridge ISN'T the end of the world, folks. In fact, plenty of people don't get in every year, and go on to become very successful in their own universities and indeed in life. And if you think I'm bullshitting (which I often am, but hey, it got me where I am today), I've taken the liberty of digging up some famous Oxbridge rejects. Even gifted students get rejected. This guy's spectacle thickness alone probably qualifies him as Oxbridge material. But some Oxbridge rejects are a lot more positive; this forum was set up by a Durham student who obviously enjoys pressing the ? and ! keys on his keyboard a little too much. And even getting straight A's doesn't guarantee you'll get in; in fact Dr Navaratnam admitted to me during my recent interview with him that Cambridge makes mistakes just like any other university...they sometimes let very good students go.

But what I like about this girl is that instead of seeing her rejection as a setback, she used it as a stepping-stone to boost her motivation. Heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned by Oxbridge. Or something like that.

Despite success in her exams, she was "devastated" when she was rejected from Trinity College, as it had always been her dream to study at Cambridge.

However, the rejection has not thwarted her determination.

She pledged to become the second woman in history to win the Nobel peace prize.

"I don't want to be a normal doctor, I want to do something great," she said.

Spoken like a true soldier. Now there's a woman who's going to go to Stockholm someday.

So there ya go. Take a deep breath, believe in yourselves, keep a calm mind, and tell yourself it doesn't matter. You have to enjoy the challenge if you're going to survive through such a tough course. Otherwise, of course, you'll end up like me, who in the middle of a what was possibly the lengthiest most boring Pathology lecture in the history of mankind, scribbled the following in absolute desperation on my notes and pushed it to the supermodel sitting next to me, who for some strange reason looked at me fearfully and promptly got up to find another seat:


Do drop me an e-mail at angrymedic [at] gmail [dot] com and tell me how it went. Laugh, cry, curse, bawl your eyes out, anything. I'm bound by UK law not to divulge anything you tell me. Besides, you're probably doing both of us a favour and keeping me from jumping off the Bridge of Sighs into the River Cam.

Good luck!

And hey, remember, if it doesn't work out, you can always get the t-shirt! Apparently they're quite in vogue around here :)

How It All Began: The Cambridge Interviewer Interviewed

You've all heard the horror stories of the Cambridge interview: a particular favourite is the one about the student who walks into the interview room to find the interviewer hidden behind a thick newspaper. The interviewer then barks, "Surprise me!" to which the student then produces a lighter, sets the newspaper on fire, and immediately gains admission to Cambridge!

I once thought stories like that were actually true. Thankfully, although my own interview was a traumatic experience I'd like to forget, I now know that the Cambridge interview is a much more structured and logical experience than the horror stories circulated over the years. In an effort to shed more light on the interview process, I called at the office of long-time Cambridge interviewer to Malaysia and Southeast Asia, Dr Visvanathan Navaratnam of Christ's College, Cambridge (pictured here).

I still remember two years ago, when I was a mere A-Levels student, walking into my interview dressed impeccably in a suit, right up to the tie, expecting to find a large intimidating bushy-eyebrowed Cambridge don dressed in full black robes staring hawkishly down wire-rimmed glasses at me behind a huge oak desk and barking at me to hurry the hell up. I'd heard all the horror stories about Dr V Navaratnam; that he was a demanding taskmaster, that he yelled at interviewees, that he asked you so many scientific questions that you eventually broke down and ran out the door crying for your mummy. Instead the door opened and out stepped this genial-looking Asian man dressed in an open shirt and with large glasses. I blinked. This was Dr V. Navaratnam, interviewer extraordinaire, the evil Cambridge don who ate undergraduates for breakfast, looking as laid-back as a surfer dude on an Australian beach in summertime.

My interview proceeded rather smoothly, even though it focused heavily on stuff that I wrote in my additional Personal Statement. Dr Nava said that this was because of the fact that the interviews are designed to test interviewees' ability to think on their feet and create logical arguments to back up their assertions, not only to test their academic prowess. It's all spelled out on this page, which clearly answers the question "What are we looking for?" "Students who enjoy a challenge." And that, folks, is what Cambridge is all about; one big fat challenge.

However, there was a tale going around that both last year's successful applicants had their hands shaken by Dr Nava as they left the interview room, with him saying "I hope to see you in Cambridge". Dr Nava assured me that interviewers don't leave telltale clues as to whether a candidate is successful or not, and that he spoke to the applicants simply because he really DID want to see them get in. He was just very good at predicting the successful candidates. Candidates should remain positive throughout the interview, no matter what the interviewer says, because the interviewer's behaviour is supposed to be completely neutral.

When I asked him about KYUEM (my old A-Level college), Dr Nava replied that he thought very highly of the college and remarked on their high standards, saying of KYUEM candidates "they are quite impressive". Regarding the controversial EEE offer given to certain candidates applying to Christ's College, he said it was a sort of psychological test by the College. "They want to see what happens when the student isn't under stress to perform well academically," he explained, stating that while Cambridge colleges usually LIKE to stress their applicants, Christ's sometimes decides to experiment in the opposite direction. Usually, however, the students perform well in their exams anyway.

Regarding the actual power of interviewers to make offers and to decide which candidates get in, he reassured me that there was no way that the interviewer could allow a candidate in, unless said interviewer happened to be the Senior Tutor of the college to which the particular interviewee was applying, and the interviewer was very impressed with the interviewee's performance. Unconditional offers are rare, although one was recently documented in a rival A-Level college when an engineer currently studying in Queen's College was reportedly admitted on the spot. However, Dr Nava was quick to affirm that interviewers only writes down his views for the colleges' admissions tutors to peruse and make the final selection. No interviewer should be "easier to get past" than any other, as they compare notes on candidates before submission to the University.

His general advice to students is to aim high, because Cambridge University is all about excellence. To gain entry, some part of the application will have to be outstanding and catch the University's attention, be it the Thinking Skills Assessment (TSA) score, the Bio-Medical Admissions Test (BMAT) score, or the Law National Admissions Test (LNAT). Of course, the interview also counts, but it is not everything. In recent years, several Colleges that have experienced declining academic performance have revised their admissions policy to favour academically-minded applicants. As such, candidates can no longer expect to gain admission purely on their extracurricular achievements, whereas examples abound of successful applicants who have outstanding academic prowess but mediocre extracurricular merits. In short, the nerds have it lucky, ladies and gentlemen.

Dr Navaratnam and Dr Richard Barnes, Senior Tutor of Emmanuel College, Cambridge, are set to leave for Southeast Asia on October 17th for this year's round of interviews. I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all applicants the best of luck, and to advise you all to aim high. If you do get in, come pay me a visit in Jesus College. We have the best lunch for the best price (and served by the best-looking waitresses) in Cambridge. Honest.