Chelsea Wins The FA Cup (And I Almost Get Slapped Because Of It)

I've talked before about how I became a Chelsea fan, and about how it is generally a very painful experience. Just today one friend told me "you must be used to pain; you're a Chelsea fan" (well yes I am a masochist - I am after all a doctor --Editor) and I was so scared of the humiliation that would follow the FA Cup final that I didn't even watch it. (Okay, I was actually at a wedding, and was following the match so intently on my phone that my mom threatened to slap me and chuck my phone into the giant bowl of fruit juice unless I went and talked to one of the many many beautiful women eyeing me. Oh wait, my mom reads this. Hi mom! You look beautiful today! --Ed.)

Then I woke up to the beautiful, beautiful news that Chelsea had actually won. The first thing I did was type out my Facebook status:

I woke up this morning - AND I SAW A MASSIVE FUCKING BLUE FLAG, FLYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY. (and no I'm not talking about morning wood, perverts). WOOHOO CONGRATS CHELSEA!

Mental images of my huge penis aside, being a Chelsea fan IS indeed a painful experience. But sometimes - just sometimes - Chelsea make it totally worth it, and I can hold my head high. Just like the blue flag is flying today.  

Congratulations, Chelsea FC.